And the light at the end of the tunnel flickers...

I know I'm not supposed to focus too much on the number.

But, I can tell the doctors are feeling a little discouraged too.

Here's the short story of what was supposed to be a slow day.

As for the mistaken too-small dose of IVIg they apologized and expressed their own frustration and explained there was a "failure of communication." We just decided to accept it since it was not an over-dose and not actual harm was done (mentally it was very harmful to us..but Arthur is okay). It really is because this is new territory for them, not IVIg and administering it to kids, but alloimmune neutropenia in particular. The head pediatrician said he didn't know how everyone heard that number, what the source was, and that they thought it was a small dose, but all accepted the number because he is a tiny baby. The pharmacist said something but they defended to him by explaining it was for a small infant. It was the immunologist that really called them on it - nuts huh? I still have yet to discuss this with my hematologist, I'm curious to hear what she has to say We are displeased to say the very least...but we do think the doctors are working hard and very committed to Arthur. We haven't lost confidence in them.

So the plan is tomorrow to do the rest of the IVIg - which is pretty much the whole dose (he got maybe 2/10's of what he should have received). Supposed to start at 9:00 a.m.

So, since he essentially did not have the IVIg treatment they went ahead with the daily CBC. It was "0" again today. Haven't talked to the hematologist since learning that number...I'm so curious to know what she thinks of that...does that drop depress her as it does me.  

We've heard two differnt things now. General peads (or at least one of them) said belly button can heal up on it's own with just antibiotics and no neutrophils. Where as Hemotology (and I think one general pead), I thought anyway, told me that the fact that it is healing means there are neutrohils - that the antibiotics alone could not do it. So, tomorrow, we will have to get this stright.

Can't recall if I wrote this already...but to leave the hospital his neutrophil number needs to be at 1,000. Then we would follow up with CBC's at the clinic here, once a week. We would also be trained in how to give him his GCS-F shots.

In other news, the two tests done by immunology came back. One was normal so no more needs to be said. The other, some type of immunoglobulin count type test came back as well, an "error." The machine actually couldn't read it - the doctors weren't even able to really explain it. The lab techs did everything they could, diluted the blood several times, didn't dilute and either got a zero reading or an error. I just don't even know what to think... They did say they are sure it's not the machine... So, now they drew blood tonight to do another type of test that will give them the answer to what they are looking for.

"Mommy, when are you going to come home?"... "When is mommy gong to be home?"

Lil is a trooper, but she is asking a fair question. And I really thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel...but now it seems to be flickering... I don't dare say "soon" to Lil yet.

Saying goodbye to her tonight, it undoes me every single time...holding Arthur in a hospital room, it undoes me too...

Please, please, please, I pray, God, let us go home with a healthy little boy - soon, soon, soon.